From: Bryan Jay Barney
Sent: Tuesday, January 12, 2010 7:46 AM
Subject: Re: 2nd week of January
All is well enough here. I´ll be staying one more transfer with Elder Barbosa here in Anapolis. We cleaned the house like crazy yesterday, then helped deconstruct another, so we´re pretty freakin´tired. I got the packages, thank you so much! And the stalking is actually my size, haha! Please tell Katie I said hi,a nd that I´m praying for her to get better. Send a birthday hug for grampa for me.
ONCE AGAIN I´m out of time, as the search for fast internet continues. Sorry I haven´t sent a good sized e-mail, as I keep finding myself busy waiting for stuff to load. I have to go now, but I promise that next week I´ll write you more stuff!
With love,
Bryan.,
Monday, January 18, 2010
Email - 1/12/10
From: Bryan Jay Barney
Sent: Tuesday, January 12, 2010 7:35 AM
Subject: Re: Happy New Year!
My story with homesickness is not really all that inspiring. I feel the normal pangs like everyone else, and I´m still fighting my way out of the holiday season flashes, but what really inspires me, what always inspires me, are two things.
The first is Elder Holland´s talk last Easter, wherein he mentions missionaries who feel homesick. But the second is a bit more personal.
In our mission we have had some true heroes. Young men I´ve only known at brief intervals, but whom I have always admired. One was a green missionary who remained only a brief amount of time with us. He had had medical complications in the field, and was visably suffering. We all worried for him. He struggled the whole time he was here, trying to speak, trying not to show anyone how sick we all know he was. I remember when they decided he HAD to go home, and when he bore his last testimony. I don´t remember a single thing he said, nor do I remember much of the way he said it, but I remember the force of the Spirit in the room at that moment, and I know that not a single person, regardless of origin, could not understand and feel his testiomony.
The other is of an Elder I knew off and on for a time. In fact, he was the last companion of my trainer before I arrived. I served in the same district as him for a time, and a great number of missionaries I know, knew him. He was a portly kid from the Northeast of Brazil, he was hardly handsome, and not exactly bright, but outside all this, there was something striking about him. This missionary suffered some rather humiliating health problems. I hear tell he wet himself more than once (though digestive illness gets everyone. It doesn´t matter if your an AP, the President, or a Junior. YOU WILL GET SICK.) and, well, let´s just say his health was never 100%. But that´s not what really was interesting. During the course of his mission, this Elder´s mother had passed away. Something, I am led to believe, which happened before my mission started, thus making it rather early in his mission. They say he was pretty down for a week or so, and wanted to go home a lot.
But never, no never, did I see that man cry, nor complain, nor even frown. Among the many missionaries I know, he was one of the happiest. He worked, from what I understand, with decent dilligence. I never heard anything to truly mar his record, nor his reputation. He was never one of those "Legendary Missionaries" One of those greats who baptizes many people or who changes the history of wards, but he was a missionary who, even when tempted and tried in the most extreme ways, did his part to build the kingdom of God.
"Hell" We are accustomed to say, "Is when the person you Are, meets the person you Could Have Been." And, as I add personally, "Agony is when you can´t meet the eyes of the man in the mirror."
I´ve never once considered abandoning the mission, never once have I even wanted to go back. Sure, I´ve missed home, but I´ve always remembered that, if I don´t come home the way the Lord sends me, I won´t enjoy it, and I´ll regret it all my life. But what keeps me going every day, even when I DO feel sour, is my testimony, my knowledge that The Gospel is true, and that there is a Christ, and that I can trust in Him. Christ said, "He who loseth his life for my sake, shall find it again."
I can´t imagine how this young Elder must feel, but I wish him all the best, and will add him to my prayers.
As for me, I´m well enough. Elder Barbosa and I will carry on six more weeks here in Anapolis, looking to baptize 5 families. The Stake President sat us down with a few members of the Ward Council Sunday and we made up a plan. Now Elder Barbosa and I will sit down and elaborate the plan so that we can use it to the best and fullest. It´s been a bit rough recently, bringing people to church, but with this new plan and the help of the members and of the Lord, I´m sure we´ll be able to do it.
Sent: Tuesday, January 12, 2010 7:35 AM
Subject: Re: Happy New Year!
My story with homesickness is not really all that inspiring. I feel the normal pangs like everyone else, and I´m still fighting my way out of the holiday season flashes, but what really inspires me, what always inspires me, are two things.
The first is Elder Holland´s talk last Easter, wherein he mentions missionaries who feel homesick. But the second is a bit more personal.
In our mission we have had some true heroes. Young men I´ve only known at brief intervals, but whom I have always admired. One was a green missionary who remained only a brief amount of time with us. He had had medical complications in the field, and was visably suffering. We all worried for him. He struggled the whole time he was here, trying to speak, trying not to show anyone how sick we all know he was. I remember when they decided he HAD to go home, and when he bore his last testimony. I don´t remember a single thing he said, nor do I remember much of the way he said it, but I remember the force of the Spirit in the room at that moment, and I know that not a single person, regardless of origin, could not understand and feel his testiomony.
The other is of an Elder I knew off and on for a time. In fact, he was the last companion of my trainer before I arrived. I served in the same district as him for a time, and a great number of missionaries I know, knew him. He was a portly kid from the Northeast of Brazil, he was hardly handsome, and not exactly bright, but outside all this, there was something striking about him. This missionary suffered some rather humiliating health problems. I hear tell he wet himself more than once (though digestive illness gets everyone. It doesn´t matter if your an AP, the President, or a Junior. YOU WILL GET SICK.) and, well, let´s just say his health was never 100%. But that´s not what really was interesting. During the course of his mission, this Elder´s mother had passed away. Something, I am led to believe, which happened before my mission started, thus making it rather early in his mission. They say he was pretty down for a week or so, and wanted to go home a lot.
But never, no never, did I see that man cry, nor complain, nor even frown. Among the many missionaries I know, he was one of the happiest. He worked, from what I understand, with decent dilligence. I never heard anything to truly mar his record, nor his reputation. He was never one of those "Legendary Missionaries" One of those greats who baptizes many people or who changes the history of wards, but he was a missionary who, even when tempted and tried in the most extreme ways, did his part to build the kingdom of God.
"Hell" We are accustomed to say, "Is when the person you Are, meets the person you Could Have Been." And, as I add personally, "Agony is when you can´t meet the eyes of the man in the mirror."
I´ve never once considered abandoning the mission, never once have I even wanted to go back. Sure, I´ve missed home, but I´ve always remembered that, if I don´t come home the way the Lord sends me, I won´t enjoy it, and I´ll regret it all my life. But what keeps me going every day, even when I DO feel sour, is my testimony, my knowledge that The Gospel is true, and that there is a Christ, and that I can trust in Him. Christ said, "He who loseth his life for my sake, shall find it again."
I can´t imagine how this young Elder must feel, but I wish him all the best, and will add him to my prayers.
As for me, I´m well enough. Elder Barbosa and I will carry on six more weeks here in Anapolis, looking to baptize 5 families. The Stake President sat us down with a few members of the Ward Council Sunday and we made up a plan. Now Elder Barbosa and I will sit down and elaborate the plan so that we can use it to the best and fullest. It´s been a bit rough recently, bringing people to church, but with this new plan and the help of the members and of the Lord, I´m sure we´ll be able to do it.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Another Email - 1/5/10
From: Bryan Jay Barney
Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 8:15 AM
Subject: Re: Another Rainy Monday
Well, once again I find myself with little time to write to you, because, well, I´m still working out all this nonsense with my new e-mail. I need to notify the staff that I´ve changed it so that I can start receiving e-mail from the mish again.
Just wanted to write really quick and let you know I got my packages. Everything is okay, and Elder Dutra, one of the secretaries says your jam is really tasty, haha. Let everyone know I said hi, and thank my aunts and uncles, as I truly do need a new pair of shoes, haha.
And yes, we´re using the new manual for Gospel Essentials here, too, but since I´m the teacher for Recent Converts, Nothing really changed, haha.
I love you, and I´m sorry I didn´t write more, keep praying for me, and send my love to everyone.
There´s a letter in the mail for you,
love,
Bryan
Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 8:15 AM
Subject: Re: Another Rainy Monday
Well, once again I find myself with little time to write to you, because, well, I´m still working out all this nonsense with my new e-mail. I need to notify the staff that I´ve changed it so that I can start receiving e-mail from the mish again.
Just wanted to write really quick and let you know I got my packages. Everything is okay, and Elder Dutra, one of the secretaries says your jam is really tasty, haha. Let everyone know I said hi, and thank my aunts and uncles, as I truly do need a new pair of shoes, haha.
And yes, we´re using the new manual for Gospel Essentials here, too, but since I´m the teacher for Recent Converts, Nothing really changed, haha.
I love you, and I´m sorry I didn´t write more, keep praying for me, and send my love to everyone.
There´s a letter in the mail for you,
love,
Bryan
Email - 1/5/10
From: Bryan Jay Barney
Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 8:07 AM
Subject: Re: Happy New Year!
Why yes, you might say I have a word or two to share with the folks back home.
To start, as a Missionary, I know full well my "flock" you might say. I know my investigators, and I know their problems, even when they don´t. I know the members of my branch. I know when they´re doing something wrong, even when they don´t. I know the missionaries in my district. I know when they´re weak, even when they don´t. I know myself. I know when I am just, and when I am not. But not always.
I am circled by weakness, by sin, by strife, and by wrong. In any direction you point me, any member, investigator, missionary you show me, I can find quickly 3 things wrong with them, and I can tell you quickly why it´d be better to just give up on them.
But that´s not the point. No one is saved by hate. I can hate, hate, hate, hate this city all I want, but it´s not going to help me do what I want. I have to love, because God is love, and as a holder of the Priesthood, I have the sacred privelege and obligation to represent Christ on earth. And in the end, Jesus will want to know how I used his name. Hell, we have the custom to say here, is when the man you are, meets the man you should have, and could have been.
Love one another, is what the Savior commanded us. By this shall men know that ye are my disciples. How can we desire that others come unto the church, or believe in our words, if we lack love? You can ask me the name of anyone I´ve baptized, even the woman I baptized the day I met her, with whom I lost contact the Sunday thereafter, and I can tell you, in all honesty, that I love them. Do we, therefore, as Holders of the Priesthood, show this love to others? Remember the talk given by Elder Bednar at conference. We need to let our families know we love them, we need to let our ward family, therefor, also know that we love them.
I will never forget the advice I received before coming to the mission. The night I was set apart, you told me, "Love your companions, Love your Mission President, and Love the people you serve." Nor do I forget what we learn in DC53: "Behold that I, the Lord, who was crucifed for the sins of the world, give unto ye a commandment: That ye forsake the world."
It isn´t always easy to forsake the world, nor it´s ways, but we ought always to remember that the souls of less active members, recent converts, and investigators are far, far more valuable than any money or accomplishment of the world.
If it were possible, this I would say to the bretheren: Am I the type of Man my Mother thinks I am? A question we´ve been making here on the mission, and one I find usually helps any man to think. If not his mother, his wife can also apply.
This is the last week of the transfer, after which, it´s possible I´ll be transferred, it´s possible I return to be a normal missionary, and it´s possible I keep on here in the same spot. At the moment I´m with Elder Barbosa, a friend of mine who I´ve known since WAAAAY back in the start of my mission. We´re District Leaders together, so it´s nice, as I have a good support, instead of having to try it on my own.
Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 8:07 AM
Subject: Re: Happy New Year!
Why yes, you might say I have a word or two to share with the folks back home.
To start, as a Missionary, I know full well my "flock" you might say. I know my investigators, and I know their problems, even when they don´t. I know the members of my branch. I know when they´re doing something wrong, even when they don´t. I know the missionaries in my district. I know when they´re weak, even when they don´t. I know myself. I know when I am just, and when I am not. But not always.
I am circled by weakness, by sin, by strife, and by wrong. In any direction you point me, any member, investigator, missionary you show me, I can find quickly 3 things wrong with them, and I can tell you quickly why it´d be better to just give up on them.
But that´s not the point. No one is saved by hate. I can hate, hate, hate, hate this city all I want, but it´s not going to help me do what I want. I have to love, because God is love, and as a holder of the Priesthood, I have the sacred privelege and obligation to represent Christ on earth. And in the end, Jesus will want to know how I used his name. Hell, we have the custom to say here, is when the man you are, meets the man you should have, and could have been.
Love one another, is what the Savior commanded us. By this shall men know that ye are my disciples. How can we desire that others come unto the church, or believe in our words, if we lack love? You can ask me the name of anyone I´ve baptized, even the woman I baptized the day I met her, with whom I lost contact the Sunday thereafter, and I can tell you, in all honesty, that I love them. Do we, therefore, as Holders of the Priesthood, show this love to others? Remember the talk given by Elder Bednar at conference. We need to let our families know we love them, we need to let our ward family, therefor, also know that we love them.
I will never forget the advice I received before coming to the mission. The night I was set apart, you told me, "Love your companions, Love your Mission President, and Love the people you serve." Nor do I forget what we learn in DC53: "Behold that I, the Lord, who was crucifed for the sins of the world, give unto ye a commandment: That ye forsake the world."
It isn´t always easy to forsake the world, nor it´s ways, but we ought always to remember that the souls of less active members, recent converts, and investigators are far, far more valuable than any money or accomplishment of the world.
If it were possible, this I would say to the bretheren: Am I the type of Man my Mother thinks I am? A question we´ve been making here on the mission, and one I find usually helps any man to think. If not his mother, his wife can also apply.
This is the last week of the transfer, after which, it´s possible I´ll be transferred, it´s possible I return to be a normal missionary, and it´s possible I keep on here in the same spot. At the moment I´m with Elder Barbosa, a friend of mine who I´ve known since WAAAAY back in the start of my mission. We´re District Leaders together, so it´s nice, as I have a good support, instead of having to try it on my own.
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