Another Email - 8/23/10

Sent: Monday, August 23, 2010 3:28 PM

We´re working hard to have baptisms every week. The First Presidency seems to be putting a lot of pressure on Brazil to turn over better results. I continue with my goal of 3 a month, but the best would really be 4-5 a month, or one a week. If the Prophet´s putting the heat on us, it must be that the Lord´s putting heat on him. But the funny thing is that honestly, we ARE capable of this. It´s not SO hard to find people who receive baptism here. If we could unite our efforts and conquer our natural men, it would not take long to have a temple here in the MidWest of Brazil. The problem is just that, haha.

Wow, now that he´s been to church a few times, it just lacks the Elders grab him by the neck and chuck him in the waters. Let them know I want to see the photos, haha. Today baptism, tomorrow sealing, and, at the end, a new Quorum Pres.

Thanks for the advice, Dad. I´d say that´s more or less what I´m going through now. I´m struggling against myself to not succumb to the temptation to rest, to sleep in, to give over to the hungers of my body, and having a tough time finding courage to fast in this blazing heat. I have to deal constantly with a rag-tag band of Elders who have desire from "Little" to "None" in terms of baptizing, and who don´t exactly seem to remember that Jesus Christ could be coming any minute now. I don´t have any problems with my companion, but I feel that I´m failing him. I feel that I´m failing my zone, and that I´m failing myself. I suppose that now is really the time that I need to put myself to the pedals and work the rest of myself away.

I´ve been feeling lately like I´ve been erasing myself. I don´t remember any musics I listened to before the mission, and I can´t recall where I left off in TV and books and secular study I´ve absolutely blanked. At first I feared this, that all my talents and learning and likes and ways were slowly fading away. But as I stare into my soul and see that big black stain of sin, I know it´s for the best. As Pres. Hinckley said, if we want to be happy, we need to lose ourselves in the work. And I´d rather lose the man I was, and all that made him, what I liked, and the many things I didn´t like about him, than live forever condemned in the man I was. If I have to take a spiritual pencil and erase myself so that The Lord can start me over from scratch, so be it. I´d rather be a different me and be exalted than be condemned as the man I was.

Thanks Dad, for your example. Thank you for having chosen to be a missionary, and having been faithful on your mission. I never once needed another man to be my example, save Christ, than you. I´m so grateful for you having shown me the way, so that one day, my sons can serve missions as you and I did. Your decision to serve a mission helped me make mine, and serving my mission has helped me, and helps me to be the man I need to be.

Love,

Bryan